My awakening journey
Someone recently asked me how I started my journey.
My reply, to oversimplify the unexplainable, was
“I saw a double rainbow”.
This was the result of a saying I heard during my travels in Peru - every time you see a rainbow, someone has woken up.
The wake-up moment was not harsh, or flamboyant, it was pure bliss that did it.
I remember it like it was in another dimension frozen in time, I was in a rooftop pool in Santa Marta, Colombia, talking to some ‘'muchileros’ (travelers) about their travels and specifically about a hidden city in the Andes called ‘Cidade Perdida’ where after a four-day hike, you reach a lost inkan city where shamans greet you with a special ceremony.
I said I would go if I didn't have a job, or a husband, or a dog.. and then we all stood in awe looking at the vanilla strawberry sky with a full double rainbow decorating the evening summer sky. I felt this rush of love, rising from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head, filling me with warmth and joy. Pure Bliss.
I knew at that moment that my life will be as beautiful as I make it, and I was in love with this beauty. In retrospect, old Hila didn't stand a chance. I don't think this was the first time I heard this voice, the call, but it was certainly the first time I answered it fully. It was time.
When I came back home from this short weeklong vacation, I decided to leave my husband, my home, and my job. In return, I started a new job and moved to a sublet in Brooklyn to figure things out.
On the first week of the sublet, I met a man who would help shift my life, and for that, I am forever thankful. He loved me, he believed in me, and he pushed me.
He pushed me so much that I landed outside of my current map, into the scary territory of no map and eventually the creation of a new one, much more expansive and without the shallow borders that the older one has constructed.
Then, I got fired from my new job. After six months of working as the Grant Manager for a major mental health service in NYC, I got kicked off of the nonprofit world for trying to save the homes of 1,400 mentally ill clients. I was hurt, and could not bring myself to trust the industry I worked so hard to entrench myself in.
I also just finalized my divorce, moved in with my twin flame, and was about to leave for Brazil to help my 89-year-old grandmother to move from my aunts’ home in Botucatu, São Paulo, to a senior home in Porto Alegre.
This was the second call, and it was as clear as a crystal ball, I was meditating in my other grandmother’s attic at around 2 in the morning,
when all of a sudden, a rush of warmth and buzzing energy started moving in me, from my hurting tailbone to the back of my neck, and once this rush reached its peak, which made me glide right back into that pure bliss state, I heard a voice say “healer”.
At first, I thought it was someone calling my name, Hila, but it didn't sound like my name, and that's where I heard the accentuated “R” like a reply to my thoughts, “no.. it is heeaallleerrrrrr”.
The rest of the night was dedicated to laughing out loud, smiling until my jaw hurt, and finding out everything that I can about kundalini awakenings.
The next morning I remember noticing how beautiful the colors were, in the rose bush, and the sky. I also remembered making a promise not to forget this call, and what it means for my continued path on this planet. The next task was to figure out what the call really meant. A healer? Ok.. but of what? The answer came like an afterthought, while I was holding my grandmother’s hand and sending her love and warmth as she taught me when I was a little girl - Energy Healer.
